I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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