How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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