i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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