love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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