It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
