You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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