Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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