its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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