no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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