1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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