He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
