Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
