the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
