All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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