If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
