Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
