I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize
