: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
