Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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