we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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