I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
