So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
