worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
