It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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