This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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