am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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