a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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