does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
