If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
