good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
