Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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