Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
