Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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