I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How naked do you want me to be?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
