Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
