Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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