i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
