If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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