We named our party play list daddy issues
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He did a backflip because drugs
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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