sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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