Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Holy sore nipples Batman
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
