Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
