No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
