it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize