I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
