A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
