Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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