Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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