One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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