Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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